Category Archives: Guidelines

Guidelines for House of Hope email group

What we believe about submission

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1 NIV).

Submission guidelines for our Hope in a House Divided email group

1. Truths we believe about submission
We will not debate whether or not submission to our husbands is what the Bible teaches

  1. Our first responsibility is to God.  God is supreme.
  2. Our second responsibility is to our husbands.
  3. God’s Word teaches that we are to be submissive to our husbands.   Anything short of submission to our husbands is rebellion against God.
  4. Differences:
  • We may find differences in our individual situations of how that submission is to be applied, and we can discuss them here.
  • We may find differences in our understandings of how far that submission is to go, and we can discuss that here.
  • We will not challenge the fact that God’s Word teaches that our husbands are appointed by God to the role of leadership and we are appointed by God to be submissive to that leadership.

2. What is submission?
A Biblical concept of submission

  • Submission is meekness.  Jesus demonstrated meekness
  • Meekness is not a doormat.  Meekness is in control.  Doormats are stepped on and have no choice.  They don’t like their plight, yet they know of no other way.  They submit begrudgingly and resignedly.
  • Meekness says, “I am able to make my own decisions.  I know some better ways to do things.  I can choose how I wish to handle this.  My choice is to be obedient to God in submission to my husband.  My choice is to give up the better ways I know and trust God’s better ways.”
  • Submission is not disobedience to God’s Word.
  • Submission is not committing adultery, doing drugs, lying, stealing, or breaking any of God’s other black and white laws. Submission is not putting yourself or your children in physical danger.
  • Submission is not catering to your husband’s every whim.
  • Submission sometimes stands up for itself in a loving but firm manner.  (An example of when this might be needed is in the following situation:  A husband is indecisive and wants to play back and forth on leadership, giving the wife opposing commands so that either way she goes he can blame the results on her.  He is not really wanting to be the leader.  He is wanting his wife to lead, yet he wants to step in and insist on his way when it is convenient.)
  • We do not mean by this that we should commit overt sin.  We believe that, if we look hard and pray, God will make a way out so we don’t have to do that.  But, we do not tell any woman to commit overt sin because her husband commands it.

3. Mutual submission
Submit to one another

  • The Bible teaches mutual submission. It teaches that the husband is to respect the wife’s desires and what is best for her. We are to seek to please one another.
  • Even the most “mutual” of marriages has to have someone designated to make the final decision if the two can’t agree on the issue. Otherwise it will become “unmutual” and there will be constant pulling in opposite directions until some sort of truce is reached.
  • We cannot change our husbands.
  • We can and are responsible before God to change ourselves to follow God’s role for us in our marriages.

See also Lois’ Daughters of Sarah Bible study.

Email support group guidelines


“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way” (1 Corinthians 14:40).

1. Group Privacy Issues: Our goal is to provide a comfortable place for women to share.

We will try to focus less on our husbands shortcomings, and more on what God wants US to be. However, our husbands weaknesses will come up from time to time as we deal with the issues that divide our homes.

There is the potential that a husband could read e mail in a joint account. If this is a concern, we recommend that you go to Hotmail or Yahoo and secure an email address for use in the group. Email can then be read and responded to from the web. You should be aware that anyone else, including husbands, can join the group under an assumed name and read group messages.

Because of the way our system is set up, you must post with the email address you used to join the group. If you wish to post with a serperate address, you must join the group with that email address as well.

2. Confidential Information Issues: Personal information shared by members of this group is not to be shared outside the group under any circumstances.

We deal with sensitive issues here. Some of the ladies may not want others to know they are members of this group. Please respect everyones privacy and do not divulge the names of group members outside of the group.

From time to time we may create group material as we work together to develop a list of resources for common needs. The completed material will be edited in such a way as to minister to many people, and may be placed on the Hope in a House Divided website. At no time will we include names, locations, or any other information that could betray the confidence of situaions or individuals. The purpose of such material would be to provide a resource to which we can refer.

3. Women Only Issues: Our email group is limited to women only.

We recognize that many men face the same situations, and may have some of the same needs, that we face. Men may request help for their needs by writing to the Director of our Men’s Ministry here. We realize that input from men could be beneficial to us, and vice versa. However, we are also very aware that thier roles, and thier struggles, are very different from ours. We feel that limiting our group to women only will provide a more comfortable atmosphere for discussing our needs.

Members should be aware that, since anyone can join the group under a fictitious name, there is no way to absolutely guarantee that there are no men in the group.

4. Conduct and Courtesy Issues: Members are to conduct themselves with courtesy and respect toward each other.

At no time will rudeness or unkindness toward another individual be tolerated. Anyone displaying such behaviour will be removed from the group.

Please do not write in all caps. This is sometimes considered “screaming” when used in internet communications. Please reply in plain text only. Some email programs have difficulty downloading anything else.

Please remember to delete all but the last letter to which you are replying. In some countries, internet service is paid for by the minute. We can keep costs down for our members in these countries by deleting unnecessary posts and using only plain text.

5. Group Theme and Mass Mailings/Copyright Use: The theme of our group is Hope In a House Divided. We seek to emphasize the Biblical principles that will help us to be the women God would have us to be despite physical, emotional, or spiritual division in our homes.

Poems or short readings in keeping with this theme will be permitted. We ask that members not submit email chain letters, mass mailings, or items not related to the theme of our group. No political mailings of any kind will be permitted.

We ask that our members consider very carefully sharing anything with the group that is copyrighted. Quotes from books or any other copyrighted source must be brief, and full credit to the author/publisher must be given.

6. Prayer Requests: You may send prayer requests for personal needs, and for your immediate family.

For prayer requests for other needs, we suggest submitting them to a group that has prayer as its main focus.

7. Doctrinal Issues: Any instruction or teaching, including devotionals, should be submitted only by designated group leaders all of whom have agreed to abide by our Statement of Faith.

We discourage doctrinal discussions as such, except as it relates to our topic of Hope in a House Divided.

However, if someone has a genuine question about how to know Christ, we will always take time to share Christ openly.

Without Christ, there is no hope. Any attempts to lead others to Christ must be consistent with our Statement of Faith.

8. Group Structure: Our group operates as a main discussion group and a Leadership Team The Leadership Team moderates and attends to Administrative matters, they also support the main group through prayer, devotionals, Bible studies, and new member help.

The role of our Leadership Team is vital to the overall operation of our group. The team consists of individuals whom take on various roles which aid in determining and implementing group policy, moderating posts and dealing with administrative matters as they arise.

It is our policy to moderate all new members for a time. This means that all posts from new members must be read and approved by a Leadership Team Moderator before being posted to the group.

It is our prayer that each new member of our group will find in Christ Jesus, the only true hope for a divided home.

In His Service,
House of Hope Leadership Team